I’m Sorry, You’ll Have to Repeat Kindergarten

I just tried to brush up on my math for the math placement test tomorrow. 

Ow. Ow ow. Ow. Ow ow ow. My head hurts. 

Apparently, they’re not joking when they say “If ya don’t use it, ya lose it”. I’ve spent the last three hours staring at the computer, watching old videos on basic math – which I thought actually counted as advanced algebra! – learning how to multiply and square fractions and then mix them with decimals and reduce them and make them improper, then making them proper, and finding the lowest common denominator and then making them outline a mermaid when I throw them in the air before they turn into sparkles that land on the paper in the form of a wrong answer.

My head hurts.

I’ve decided screw it! I’m just going to have to repeat kindergarten. I’ll get all A’s if i do that, until it’s time to learn to count. Then I’ll have to put the dunce cap on and sit in the corner eating crayons. 

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to make sure I place well in the math placement test, to save time and money. But if studying the basics is making my head hurt this much, then what’s the point in memorize a bunch of stuff that I barely grasp for one test in less than 24 hours, and by some miracle get into a higher math class, then have to go back and re-learn it again in order to grasp what’s being taught in this clearly-more-advanced-than-me class?

Really, by trying to push myself to fake being better at math than I am, I’m just going to be cheating myself. And you know what – maybe I want to give the school more money. Yeah, by my taking extra math classes, I’m supporting the education school for future generations. 

It’s math-disabled folk like me that keep colleges in business. The academic world should really thank us. 

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by the way, the answer is 1/2. Doesn’t that equation make your head hurt?

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