Ten Cartoon Characters I Am Comparable To

When I think of musings, I think of King of the Hill‘s Peggy Hill, who had a musing column in a the local news paper. I think I liked it because her musings were so ridiculous that – and were [fictionally] published, I thought that if she can do it, I can do it.

That’s right, I am comparing myself to a cartoon character. She ain’t the first, either.

  1. Peggy Hill
    Well, I think we’ve gone over that one.
  2. Stimpy
    Ok, so I’m not a big fat red cat, but there’s something so amazingly pleasant about finding joy in little things. I once wrote a song about a belly button, he fell into his belly button. I forgive, often and too much. I get walked all over quite a bit. But at the end of the day, I would totally donate my buttocks to my pal to enhance their pectoral muscles. Hell, what I do need a butt for any way? You know…other than doing the Happy Happy Joy Joy Butt-Slap Dance.
  3. Ren
    Such little tolerance for stupid people. I don’t smack people around, or make my friend chew on me while I’m dressed in a mouse costume for five bucks, but I definitely feel like it from time to time. And you know sometimes, I feel like a little dog trying to play at being a big dog. Just a mosquito of a being, trying to be that big, successful pup.
  4. Ms Chokesondick
    From South Park, their fourth grade teacher with the lazy eye and the boobs that drag on the ground, and kittens follower her. That will someday probably be me. I like kittens, and I don’t trust bra’s to fully hold out. At some point, they’ve got to give, and the kittens will hear their calling.
  5. Doug
    You know, from that 90’s show, entitled Doug. I was minus the Pork Chop companion, but I was always journaling. In fact, it was his journaling that kept me watching the show. Some of his moments were just a little too painfully embarrassing for me to watch at the age of – what, 7 (because I totally knew what embarrassment was at that time) – but I loved that he journaled all the time, and it certainly got me on a similar path.
  6. Shirley McLoon
    From Tiny Toon Adventures, she was the female counterpart to Plucky (the kid version of Daffy, essentially). She was always levitating, and spouting New Age stuff. When I was in middle school – that was me, you know, minus the levitation. I was delving into the Occult for the first time, and I had a lot to say about what I was learning. To this day, I’m spouting metaphysical teachings. I still have yet to get the floating down. But hey, if a valley girl duck can do it – I can do it! “Ommmmm andsomejunk……Ommmmmmm andsomejunk…..”
  7. Heffer Wolfe
    The massive cow that ate everything in Rocko’s Modern Life. Especially when I see popcorn. I have no control when that happens. This chick is a popcorn junkie. He and I share other similar traits, which could certainly mean that I am a cow adopted by wolves, meant to have been eaten when I was young but was just too cute. He and I have both worked as wait-staff, baristas, and picked up other odd jobs along the way. Oh yeah, and we both look great in cover-alls. 
  8. Shaggy
    Well, let’s not get into that one, shall we 😉
  9. Felix The Cat
    I have to be on a pretty good day to be comparable to this guy, but it’s true and it happens. I always have my bag of tricks, and trick is the bag indeed! Oh yeah, and when I’m on a roll, I can be completely awesome. But, just as the event in which I see the character, it’s a pretty rare occurrence.
  10. Garfield
    So many reasons why I’m like this cat – first off – to Hell with Mondays. Second, orange is the best color, truly. I enjoy eating plants, I like to pick on small animals (I don’t have a dumb dog to pick on, but I definitely push my cat over), I got no respect for the man. And you know. Lasagna.

I think this only goes to show that I should have more outlines than I actually do. Who drew me, any way?


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