I am doing well. No seriously, I actually am, and it shocks me a little.
I am filled with excitement and optimism, though it could be the coffee. I feel the need to gloat but really I’m just afraid it’s a fluke and my ego might get in the way.
Instead, perhaps not a gloat, but an illustration of how my classes are going as I’ve observed from my external sources.
Math: I received my lowest quiz score yet, and was mad at myself since it was a take-home quiz and I didn’t have the sense to check my work. It was a 91%. The second take-home quiz was graded and handed back with my second lowest score – a 95%. Thankfully, she said she will drop our two lowest test scores, though I don’t know if that’s exams or quizzes or either or. Though, either way, I am averaging a 96% in the class. I don’t like even numbers. I require a 97% or higher.
Journalism: My lowest grade on anything is a B, though my tests and quizzes have given me nothing lower than an A. My teacher seems to like me, which is nice, and trusts me with her class keys (ok, once, she gave them to me when she saw me half an hour before class and told me to open because she thought shew as going to be late), and chit-chats with me outside of class when she sees me. I require an A, though I think I will only get a B. The silver lining is that I am motivated to do extra work and research in order to get that A.
English: My essay yielded full marks, and my class grade is a full 100%. My teacher told me my paper was brilliant. A classmate was out of class for a few days and very sick and sent a group email to a couple other classmates, our teacher, and me, asking for notes on what she had missed. I wrote a poorly-typed response, but again, my teacher told me it was brilliant, and proceeded to forward it to the entire class. Today in class he told everyone to make sure they read my summery. I went beet red.
I don’t trust my A in English. I feel like my paper was a fluke that I understood the material, and this entirely class is a fluke since I have explored many of these concepts on my own before, and spent a great deal of time in contemplation of these ideas. We’re explore what Reality is, what the Universe actually means, individual perception and the like. I was doing this and preaching this years ago. My English teacher and I are on the same page in many ways, and because of this, I think I am doing well. It makes me worried that I will get cocky for the next English class, and that I will fall from my very highly placed Ego perch.
Why am I doing well? Because each class is inspiring me to do better, do more. In each class I see places for improvement, areas where I can work harder. School has almost become a game to me – how high can I get my score?
However I chose to see it, at the end of the day, I am doing well.