A Word on Gender Equality

For whatever reason, Feminism has earned itself a bad rap – and it’s appalling that that’s the case. From my understanding of what feminism is, there is no need for it to have earned a negative connotation. After all, it is simply a branch of humanism.

Of course, I am a bit bias since I, myself, am a woman. I live in an extremely liberal part of the world, and (to my knowledge) haven’t experienced any wage differences. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I believe that there are parts of the country that do. I have, however, had a male landlord refuse to speak to me because I am a woman. I’ve had a cable guy come to fix whatever it was and not listen to anything I said until my male roommate arrived and said the exact same thing – which he did listen to. I have been called out on my ability to work or opportunities to do my job due to my weight or that I wasn’t blond. I have been cat-called, had my boobs the only thing worthy of eye contact, and I have been grabbed at repeatedly. I’ve worked in bars and pubs, and run my own little experiments – I get more tips the lower cut my shirt is, regardless of how crappy of service I give. I’ve given excellent service – chit-chatty, smiling, pleasant, and making sure that glasses were never empty – while wearing no make-up and a respectable shirt and gotten hardly anything for tips.

Woman are still objectified, and this is a problem. What’s more, is it’s not just men that are doing it. Women are playing into it. Women know that sex sells, as my bar example shows, and they play into it, knowing that’s how they’ll get ahead. It’s terrible. What’s more, it’s exploiting men. Though, again, men exploit women just as much. Neither set of circumstances is tolerable.

In my town there were a group of girls in one of the middle schools that were sent home because they all chose to wear skirts. The school said that it was distracting. The girls took a stand, and said they shouldn’t be shamed. They were in the newspaper, and their skirts were no shorter than any pair of shorts they would wear in a month. They were not provocative, the tops they wore were high necked and long sleeved, and some of the girls were even wearing tights. (edit: this was not the case. There was no cleavage or bra straps, but not all dresses were “high-necked) There was nothing inappropriate about what they were wearing. The problem in this situation was certainly not what they were wearing, but that those that were distracted by it had neither the discipline nor respect to not be distracted by it.

(for more information on just what these girls were wearing, here’s a video)


(You can read more on the event in the Bellingham Herald)

I am not a man hater. On the contrary. I think men are just as necessary and capable as women, and women are just as capable as men. I believe in humanism. I believe that we are creatures crawling around on this earth together, and that no one is worth more than another person.

We are coming into a time where lines are being blurred between gender roles – and thank God for it! men are becoming stay at home dads and women are being career driven. Thus, partnerships are developing, which is ultimately what is needed.

The most important thing about gender equality is that it opens up the conversation for those that identify with both or neither gender. How can we create and accepting atmosphere for people to be who they feel they are if we can’t even give people equality for their biology? Those that are transgender fight a battle that those of use that don’t identify similarly can’t understand. And for society to make it harsher to come to terms with the person they want to be is disgusting.

We are long from the dark ages. However, we are long from an enlightened era where people can simply be, and allow others to be as well. There is no equality for the moment, and it’s a sad truth. However, I believe that the more it’s talked about, the more the issue will come to light, and the more things will change. There is nothing to be gained from keeping other people down. All it does is stunt the great minds that could enhance our world. These are men, women, people.

Remember that no one is their encasing. Everyone is their own being existing along side the rest.

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5 thoughts on “A Word on Gender Equality

  1. This is my major point of contention with feminism. You think you can deny the unconscious male sexual desire for your bodies. This is part of the reason women are not taken seriously. You are delusional, wanting to assume that men think the same asexual way you do.

    The purpose of clothing is to keep male sexual desire under control. It’s not a political tactic. It’s a psychological issue.

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  2. By the way, if you were wearing modest clothing, I would talk to you like an adult (because I’m not some dumb, misogynist).

    I mean, even if you looked slutty, I’d still talk to you, but my heart might be racing, so it would be kind of a distraction, and then who knows I might relapse into my porn addiction or go find some random slut to vent my sexual frustration on. I’m smart and sensitive, but I can’t always just deny my biological urges the way you assume I can.

    How about you stop menstruating? What? That’s not under your conscious control???

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  3. To be blunt, if you really want to know how men think (or at least how I think), the reason skirts are more distracting than shorts of the same length is because skirts suggest easier access to your vagina. If you were on a date with a guy you liked (so the sex would be consensual, right?), it would literally be easier for him to initiate sex with you if you were wearing a skirt, and this is the fantasy that’s going through a guy’s mind when he sees you in a skirt (assuming he is attracted to you — we do have standards).

    When girls complain about being sexually objectified, it reminds me of men who complain about “false” rape accusations. It’s the same arrogance, assuming the other gender’s instincts are the same as yours without bothering to actually ask the person how the other feels. But I’m a guy who was raised by my mother, so I’m constantly battling either side in this gender war, trying to understand both men and women.

    Just wear loose shorts or loose pants, and don’t show any cleavage, and that one problem is solved. Then we can start worrying about why people won’t talk to you, because that’s really weird. I had never heard of that before. I guess the reason I’m willing to talk to anyone is because I’m an intellectual, a curious person who wants to give someone the benefit of the doubt no matter the gender or race. I don’t assume the big confident white guy is smart, and I don’t assume the small meek girl is dumb.

    Actually, I find the opposite to be true. Often, the confident guy is a know-it-all who’s full of crap and doesn’t really know anything. I have an uncle like this, really big and really tough-looking and he speaks with authority on any topic. My cousins make fun of him now, sarcastically calling him their “alpha male” (because they don’t respect as much now that they are all grown up and can see through his smoke screen).

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    • I suppose I could have made this clearer in my post. I don’t believe the distraction is just a problem with men. This isn’t an attack on men. It’s an attack on the way society has developed – which does in fact happen to be in favor of men. We live in a society where it’s ok for men to be shirtless but not for women. There are some good looking men that can be “distracting” to look at when they have their shirts off. And there’s nothing against them doing so. There are men with nice booties and legs and all the rest – yet, they’re not restricted as to what they can wear (please enlighten me otherwise). Women are. We are told that our bodies are not ok to have, that we should be shamed for having them and showing them. Wear baggy clothes you say? Really? That’s the answer?
      I had a look at your blog (by the way, lovely that you can dish out comments but won’t allow anyone to leave any on your blog, nice touch), and you seem to be, from what I saw, into natural ways of dealing with things. That is awesome, and a great thing. However, all holistic and natural medicines teach the same thing: treat the cause. This means looking and trying to figure out what the underlining issue is instead of just doing the quick fix of the symptom.
      Men getting distracted by what girls wear – skirts, shorts (really we can wear anything and there will be some cause for distraction) – is a symptom of the way society has developed. Instead of learning to respect the bodies of our fellow human beings, we have developed to objectify it. In Ancient Egypt – four thousand years ago, I might add – it was common for woman to walk around naked. And they were seen as equals. In many indigenous cultures it was common for women and men to be naked, or partly naked. Clothing came about for a need of warmth. Do you think women were shamed for being topless? Do you think that men were unable to go about their business because the women of the tribe weren’t concealed? This is a cultural thing, one that needs to change. I’m looking at the cause, and pointing out the symptom as a result of the cause.
      Men are not the only part in this. Like I said in my post, women play into this as well. They know that men do this, and will exploit it. And the exploitation of any human is never ok. Women should never claim rape or attempted rape as a manipulation tool. However, no one should be raping any one, EVER, and should always call the police if they find themselves in that situation.
      As far as sexual instincts goes, we are at a point in our evolution where we can control our instincts, for the most part. Women can suppress the hounding instinct to produce and say they’re not ready, or don’t want to. People can suppress the instinct to hit or otherwise use violent means against another person that has angered them. What’s that joke they say to subdue sexual desire? Think of baseball? Like you said, it’s psychological. Most things psychological can be mastered with practice and patience and dedication (key word there, “most”, not all). Comparing that to a menstrual cycle is a whole different ball game. Saying “stop your menstrual cycle” (though I understand it was used as an example, you weren’t literally telling me to command it) is like saying “stop digesting”. There are some instances where a woman can convince herself so deeply that she’s pregnant that her body believes it and produces symptoms of it, and thus their cycle would stop (maybe), but that is not the same thing as what you were suggesting.

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  4. I hope you saw the post on my blog about what I think modest female clothing looks like, which is basically the same way I (a male) dresses, and there’s also a post about how I think girls and guys should both wear shorts and shirts when they go swimming to avoid the common sexual objectification of bikinis.

    Although I believe absolute gender equality is impossible, I think near gender equality is attainable if people play down their biological differences. Feminists seem to want to ignore male-female biological differences. Misogynists, on the other hand, seem to want to exaggerate them. I’m trying to find the truth that lies in between the two extremes (because I have very little care for power or competition).

    There’s also a post somewhere where I mention how the feminist “Ban Bossy” campaign is silly, because my favorite manager of all time was female. Although, I don’t think she was a typical female. She wasn’t girly and dainty (but she wasn’t too masculine either). She was just down-to-Earth.

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