With everything muddling around in my brain, I keep trying to figure out what my best options are. I can continue with my plan for Durham, which was my top choice of the schools I applied to. However, it means I have to wait until next October before I can start school. I only wanted to go to school here because at the time tuition was going to be cheaper (except now it’ll be £900 more next year, which means it’s no longer cheaper that the other schools I was looking at) and because I wanted to be closer to Granny. She’s no longer here.
If I go back to the states, with a little luck, I can be back in school for winter quarter, spring quarter at the latest. I could start at Western and transfer to another school when I’m more stable. I would have more options for student loans and I would be eligible for scholarships.
However, if I leave here, I don’t know that I’ll come back to the UK again. I don’t have a reason to. I mean, I have a couple of friends, of course, and I have extended family, but I’m not particularly close with my family. I don’t know that I’d make the journey across the pond again.
The other thing to consider as well is my location. I am so very grateful to my boss/land lord. He’s been so supportive and fantastic. However, after January, there will be very little work, if there’s anything at all. Where I’m at is a tourist village and it mostly shuts down in the winter. If I can’t find some work, then I don’t have anything to do or any way of supporting myself from January to April (the village begins to wake up again at Easter).
As it is, I’m working three days a week, and spending a lot of time contemplating my situation, trying to decide if I can make it through the winter and just keep on with my goal to go to Durham, or if I should not waste time and go to school somewhere in the States.
I miss the days when I had a set plan I was working towards. I really did mess this all up. I was so close, too.