When I moved to Wales this last time, it was rather tumultuous. While I’m really grateful to those who helped me, it was still quite difficult. A massive part of the difficulty was when my grandmother died. For those of you who don’t know, she was very much a passive part of my motivation to apply to university in the UK. I wanted to be near her in her final years.
Well, she passed last November, only slightly over a month from my arrival. And yesterday, we laid her to rest.
She was of course cremated in November, with the family there to say their words and spend time remembering her. But yesterday we scattered her ashes. It was really a fantastic day for it. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and the bay was calmly excited.
There weren’t very many of us, and looking back on it, I’m quite glad for it. There was a close friend of the family who was kind enough to take us out into the bay on his sail boat, my mom, and me. There was Prosecco and wine and sun waves and islands.
We took the boat out along the usual race course, for “Mrs. T’s final race,” as friend put it. We made it around the buoy, something that I, myself, haven’t done in at least twenty years. As we came up alongside the island, under the watchful eye of the abandoned cabin, we sprinkled Granny in the sea.
I suppose this is the part where I reflect, but in all honesty, I don’t know what to say. I can say that she’s the closest person to me to have passed on, and that it’s a loss I regularly feel at random times. I feel it when I’m driving to Blaenau-Ffestiniog, somewhere I don’t think I went with her. I feel it when I’m making instant noodles. I feel it when I smell the plants after it’s rained.
And while those times I feel sad, and that I’m missing something now, I know I’m not. I know that I’ve had the chance to experience a really wonderful person, and that every time I miss her, I am breathing life into who she was, and I know that she still has a presence.
I suppose that would be my reflection on the matter. As for yesterday, it was an experience, but not something emotional. It was a beautiful day on a boat.